For those who hail cabs often, I’m sure we all have our share of interesting cab rides. But this one, in particular, is the single most fascinating one that I have encountered.
What started of as me candidly pointing out (and somewhat complaining) that there was a roach in the cab led to a slew of topics ranging from elementals to God being a great geneticist to us being potential gods in the future. Here’s my attempt in capturing the flow of the preachings of who I now dub as the “Scholarly Cab Driver”.
Me: Manong, may ipis.
(There’s a cockroach.)
Manong: Ah, yun yung hinahanap ko pero ayaw magpakita. (Thought balloon: He knew???) Malinis naman yan. Di yan kagaya nung ibang ipis. (I wonder how this specific one is different, really.) Sa ibang bansa nga kinakain pa yan, diba sa Thailand, sa Laos.
(Ah, that’s the one I’ve been looking for but it never shows itself. That’s clean. It’s not like the other cockroaches. In other countries like Thailand and Laos, they even eat those.)
Me: Manong, kahit yata lutuin mo, di mo ako mapapakain.
(I think, even if you cook them, you can’t make me eat them.)
Manong: Iniisip mo lang yan. Psychological na ang problema mo. Siguro nung bata ka, tinatakot ka. Kaya yung mga anak ko, di ko pinalaki na takot sa ganyan, sa multo, sa mga kapre. Pag nagtanong sila, “Tay, totoo po pa yung multo, yung kapre?” Sasabihin ko hindi totoo yon.
(Your just thinking about that. Your problem is psychological already. Perhaps, you were taught to be scared of them when you were young. That’s why, my children, I didn’t let them grow up to be scared of things like that, ghosts, “kapres”. Whenever they ask, “Dad, are ghosts and kapres true?” I tell them, “no”.
Me: Pero kayo, manong, naniniwala pa kayo sa mga ganon?
(But do you, personally, believe in those things?)
Manong: Eh, hindi pero oo, meron talagang mga ganyan pero alam mo ba, ang tawag sa mga ganyan, diba ang tawag natin lamang-lupa? Ang tawag talaga dyan mga elementals? Kasi nung ginawa naman ng Diyos ang perfect man, nag-trial and error naman siya eh. Kaya yung mga pinagdaanan niya bago niya tayo nagawa, yun yung mga elemental. Meron pa nga yung mga centaur eh. (Wow, amazing.)
Alam mo, man was created from soil. Alam niyo ba na yung soil actually contains yung marami sa components ng DNA natin? Oo, kasi si God, advanced na being na siya eh so naiintindihan na niya yung genetics, yung DNA na yan. Pero syempre, nung panahon nina Moses, di pa nila maiintindihan yan eh primitibo pa sila eh. Primitive mind pa yan, pano nila maiinitindihan yung DNA? Pero, syempre, tayo nag-advance na tayo sa siyensya kaya alam na natin. So, in fact, man was made from the soil.
(Well, no. But yes. There really are things like that, but do you know what they’re called? We call them “earth dwellers”, right? You actually call them elementals. Because, when God was trying to create the perfect man, he had to undergo trial and error. So those beings that he went through before he created us, those are the elementals. There are even creatures call centaurs. You know, man was created from soil. Did you know that soil actually contains a lot of the components of our DNA? Yes, because God is already an advanced being so he understands genetics and DNA already. But, of course, during the time of Moses, they couldn’t understand these because they were still of primitive thinking. How can they understand DNA? But us, we’ve already advanced in terms of science so we already know. So, in fact, man was made from the soil.)
Manong: Mahilig kasi ako magbasa ng mga ganyan. Pati yung sa religion, yung heaven at hell? Nagbasa rin ako tungkol dyan. Hindi totoo yung ganung konsepto ng heaven. Kasi ang heaven, never-ending yan eh. Diba, yung universe? Dun nga sa nabasa ko sa mga Sumerian books (Are there any that are not yet in museums?), ang sabi don, hindi lang tayo ang mundo na ginawa ng Diyos. Tatlo tayo. Yung iba dyan, mas advanced pa sa atin. Di natin sila nakikilala kasi mas advanced na sila eh. So, balang araw, pwede tayo pumunta sa ibang bansa tapos tuturuan natin sila kung pano mamuhay, tutulungan natin sila. In effect, lahat tayo pwedeng maging diyos balang araw.
(I really like reading about things like that. Like with religion, the concept of heaven and hell? I also read up on that. The concept of heaven as a place is not true. Because, heaven is never-ending. You know, the universe? In those Sumerian books I’ve read, it says that we were not the only world created by God. There were three of us. The other are more advanced than we are. We don’t see them because they’re more advanced. So, someday, we can go to another world and teach them ahow to live and help them. In effect, all of us can eventually become gods.)
And that ends his litany. We almost ran over a traffic enforcer in the process.
It’s just amazing to meet these people on the road. My theory is that he must have been a teacher or involved in academe prior to donning the taxi hat. So, just think when you hail a cab the next time, you might be in for quite a story. And when you have one, just share it with us right here or on our Facebook page.
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